Feeling like you’re beginning to lose—or have completely
lost—your identity is a common truth among mothers. Suddenly, you’re not
yourself anymore—instead, you’re the mother of your little one. No one even bothers
to make eye contact with you in the grocery store—but everyone (literally everyone) will “ohh” and “ahh” over your
sweet baby. Quite the culture shock from pregnancy, where everywhere you went
all eyes were on you and that adorable growing baby bump. Remember those
glorious days when strangers rushed ahead to open the door for you as you
slowly waddled your way into the bank? Well, those days are long gone—only to
be replaced with the image of a frantic mother, wearing little-to-no makeup,
with her hair thrown up in a messy bun. It’s as if nobody dares cross acknowledge the woman with the
crazy eyes as she (unsuccessfully) tries to remain cool, calm, and collected
while attempting to push and pull her stroller through the all-too-heavy doors.
I’ll never forget the first time I realized just how much my
life (and identity!) had changed. Lacey was a whole two days old and we were
making what was to become our daily trip to the pediatrician to check on her jaundice
levels. My husband and I were sitting in the waiting room, coo-ing over the
world’s cutest newborn, when the check-in clerk called out for “Lacey’s mom or
dad.”
I faltered for a second. Are they calling for me? Should I
really go up there? Surely, this has to be some kind of mistake. I’m not a
mom—I’m just me. Two days ago I was just clumsy, short on sleep, extremely
pregnant Shannon… and now? Now I was a mom.
Sure, I had realized how extremely different my life would
be when we saw that exciting “pregnant” on the little blue and white stick I’d
just peed on. (FYI, Clearblue Easy Digital Pregnancy Tests are the way to go if
you think you may be expecting your own bundle of joy. Who wants to deal with
deciphering whether a line is really a line? Make it easy on yourself—go the
digital route). I realized it again when Lacey was placed in to my arms for the
first time ever in the delivery room-- and yet again when they knowingly let us
leave the hospital with her a day later (Are you sure a nurse shouldn’t follow us home for a few days?).
But in that moment at the pediatrician’s office, I became a
mom. And not just any mom… but Lacey’s
mom. And my husband? The man I spent 8 years getting to know and love? He
was no longer just “Ross” or my husband. He was Lacey’s dad. We were Lacey’s parents. What a crazy
adventure we were embarking on together. As a family of three.
Recognizing your new found mommy or daddy-hood can seem
overwhelming—especially for the stay-at-home parent who no longer has a work
title to justify their day-to-day life. But rather than mourn the loss of your
“old” identity, why not relish in your new one!? Sure, you may no longer be
able to meet up at the local bar with your friends on any given night of the
week—but who’s to say you can’t enjoy a well deserved glass of wine after you
get the baby down for the night? And sure, Saturdays will no longer consist of
sleeping in until noon—but I bet you’ll love waking up at 8 and snuggling in
bed with your hubby and baby while watching Saturday morning cartoons even
more.
It’s important to not feel isolated while you go through
these new changes. Remember: you’re partner is changing as well. Talk about it.
Communicate. You two are in for the experience of a lifetime and it’s going to
be a much smoother ride if you remember that you’re in it together.
Finding ways to embrace the “new you” as a couple can be a
fun challenge too. For us, we’ve always been big movie go-ers. On any given
Saturday night, you could find us enjoying dinner at one of our favorite
restaurants before heading off to see the latest blockbuster. And then came
Lacey. Now, you may not know this—but
infants are generally not welcomed in
movie theaters. Who knew!?Nothing ruins the latest thriller like a baby screaming his
head off in the back row. So for us, Redbox and pizza night became
our new best friend. And I have to say—I actually prefer it to going out for
several reasons:
1.
You can turn the air down, the sound up, and
snuggle under lots of covers in the comfort of your own couch or bed.
2.
Unless you’re a college student (or reliving
your days as one) using a water bottle to smuggle your favorite “adult
beverage” into the movie theatre (or perhaps you frequent one of those awesome
dine-in move theaters like Studio Movie Grill in Scottsdale, Arizona) then you can’t
really drink while at the movies. But
guess what? You can at home! And for like 1/100th of the price. And
if you accidentally have one too many (obviously assuming that one parent is
not partaking in the alcohol consumption)? There’s no need to worry about how you’re
going to safely get home—you just waltz your way right into your bedroom.
3. And the very best reason? You can pause the movie if you need to use the restroom!! No need to hold it or chance missing an important scene when you're watching at home. As someone with an insanely small bladder (made even weaker by delivering my chunky baby girl) this reason alone is more than enough for me.
However, like most good solutions—problems may still arise. For
us, it was needing to wait until movies came to DVD before seeing them. Totally fine under
normal circumstances—but so not acceptable for certain movies. One movie that
we were completely unable to wait to see was the newest Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Being remotely obsessed with these
movies, we knew we had to find a way to see it as soon as possible. There would
be no waiting for DVD release for this one!
We decided to welcome our new family status and turn this
movie night in to an adventure—by hitting up the (not so local) drive in movie
theater. It took weeks of planning, rescheduling several times due to a cranky baby, a 90 minute drive, and booking a hotel for
the night but we were able to see a movie while it was still in the theater! And I have to say, watching one of the best
movies of all time in the comfort of my own car (in pajamas!) with my husband by my side, my
daughter cuddled in my lap and gas station candy to get us through—is easily my
favorite movie going moment of all time (with the exception of any and all
Harry Potter Midnight Madnesses of course). Sure, seeing one movie cost us upwards of $100
but it was worth every penny.
So be creative. Have fun with your new identity. Embrace
every moment of it. And if you still find yourself needing a night to let lose?
Well, I’d be willing to bet that grandma and grandpa would be more than
willing to babysit.
Do you have any fun ways to unwind as a family? Or by
yourself? Leave a comment and let me know.
See you real soon,
Lacey’s mama
Your Daily Dose of Lace:
Relaxing in the hotel before going to see Catching Fire.
Sleeping on my lap at the drive in movie theater. So precious.
BVBhttp://bitcoinity.org/marketsQBBVQ`B B
<<Lacey’s Blog Post—she managed to
paste the copied Bitcoin link! So skilled.
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